So here it is…MY 1st BLOG POST…on a real blog. None of the Facebook or Myspace blogging for me anymore 🙂 So what do you write for your 1st blog? A celebration of anything, some confounding statements, or just keep it light and fluffy and introduce yourself. Maybe a little of everything. Here Goes!
So I am married. Have been for about 3 years. We have been together a total of 10 years in June. We had ourselves what I would consider a pretty awesome little ninja baby last April after YEARS of trying, failing and then finally just giving up and deciding to live our lives childless. God works in mysterious ways and with Jason (my hubby) and I nothing seems to be easy for us. Jason and I have not had an easy relationship ever. Things that happen to us, happen in very over the top kind of ways. Ways in which when I tell people, they seriously think I am lying sometimes. Nope my life is this dramatic!
The last 4 years have been the most challenging of my entire life. It all started when I was in my last full semester of college. I took 21 credits that year with 160 hours of student teaching to accomplish. On top of that I was planning our wedding with a guest list of 400 and playing roller derby with an up and coming derby league. Well my bright ass decided that Jason and I would get married out at my parents house. In order for that to happen, my parents needed to landscape the backyard and really fix up the outside of this “crack house” they purchased a few years earlier. About 2 months till the wedding, Jason and my dad were hanging the siding and putting the water barrier fabric on the house. Jason was on the top of the ladder and my dad was about 50 ft away from him on another ladder. My dad pulled the Tyvec without telling Jason and down he went, head first off a 6ft ladder. This lead to what I would call one of those defining moments in our lives. Jason and I dealt with his shoulder injury, the loss of his job, the insurance and the overall chaos our lives became over the next year.
At some point, things looked like they were turning around. But we got slapped in the face yet again. We found out that Jason’s mom was terminally ill with COPD. I was devastated, angry, sad and confused. I just couldn’t understand WHY Jason was about to lose his mom. This chapter in our live proved to be the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Not only did I need to and want to be a supportive wife, but I needed to figure out a way to deal with my own personal loss. This is something I still struggle with. Losing Jason’s mom broke me. Looking at my little ninja every day I continuously wonder how things would be if she was here to see him do all the cool things babies do. I want so badly to share these with her, to have Jason share them with her. I take solace in the fact that she is watching us, but still it would be SO different and so amazing to have her here. Cherish your in-laws because even if you don’t your spouse does and when they depart this world so does a part of your spouse. Recovering from this loss is something Jason and I are going to be working on for a very very long time.
Well about 10 days after Jason’s mom passed away, we got the surprising news that we were expecting. It went something like this:
Laura’s Brain: “How old is this pregnancy test in the cupboard…let’s just take it for fun and see what happens”
Pregnancy Test: “PREGNANT”
Laura’s Brain: “LIAR…you are too old to be correct”
Pregnancy Test: “PREGNANT”
Laura’s Brain: “I need to test this about 20 other times, I am going to the store”
Off to the store I went, where I purchased 3 different types of tests, all came back positive. Later that evening I walked downstairs to “confront” Jason about this news. I sat down and told him that we were not going to be able to go to Mexico or Europe the next summer. He got really pissed and then I showed him the pregnancy test. All was forgiven and we were kinda excited given the recent circumstances.
Well that excitement was short lived because as my body hates me, I began what I thought was my period, this sent me straight to the doctor for blood work. Everything came back fine so I was still pregnant. Next came the ultrasound (at this point I should tell you that I have miscarried before so my doctors were extra careful)! Well sure as shit there was a baby in there! This SAME scenario happened 3 different times! Along with the amazing morning sickness, the baby bump that showed up super quick and my new job as a first year teacher at a rough school, I was overwhelmed.
All that other stuff worked itself out and our little Ninja was about to make his debut…I ended up getting preeclampsia and having an emergency C-section after 18 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing…freaking awesome healing, let me tell you! Ninja went straight to the NICU and I got to hang out in seclusion with no lights, visitors or baby time.
Enough of the crazy background stories, let’s get to the basics of what you need to know:
1. I am 26…almost 27
2. I love my husband even if I sometimes make claims that I do not
3. That ninja baby is my everything and although he was troublesome through the pregnancy and shortly after, I am keeping him FOREVER!
4. I have 2 dogs…Mia & Lily
5. I like to bitch sometimes
6. I need to lose weight (we will so get into this later!)
I have SO much more to write, I could go on forever about my last 4 years, but instead what I will do is let you know that I am not living in my past. I only have the future to look too and this blog is going to capture that future, failures, triumphs and challenges.