So tonight I had a conversation with the neighbor lady about how old we will be when our kids graduate. I have always wanted to have my kids early so that I could really enjoy my “prime” years. I’ve wanted this because my parents had it and truly enjoy all the time they have to be themselves again. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mommy, but I can definitely say that I have lost a bit of who I am and I definitely have no time for the things that I enjoy doing sans children. I found comfort in the idea of being done raising kids by my early 40’s.
Tonight I realized that I will be 44 when Eyan graduates, which means that by the time he graduates college and God willing moves out before he is 25, I will be well into my 50’s!!! I know it doesn’t seem old and it’s not, but I just cannot imagine being a 50 year old parent of a senior. The way my body deals with pregnancy is shitty. Takes me forever to get pregnant, then carrying a baby doesn’t seem to work, so figure 2-3 years of trying/pregnancy,
Would put me very close to 50.
So I am seriously thinking of getting my tubes tied…stat!!! It may be a rash decision, but it freaks me out to be a “middle aged” parent. There are definitely some cons to my irrational fears. 1. I have always wanted Eyan to have a sibling. 2. Pretty permanent procedure so I damn well be sure. 3. I am not entirely sure that Jason agrees with this thought. 4. My parents would only have one grandchild, since my sister is never having kids…kinda sad for them.
Hmmm. What do you think? Good idea or bad?