So I sit here on the eve of my 27th birthday, with a WHOLE lot of change and a WHOLE lot on my mind. First, I am one year closer to 30! While for some 30 is a scary number, for me I am just very excited to see what my thirties bring…I have always felt like 30 really truly meant you were a “grown up,” and although that might not be true, it is still a cool thought. I LOVE my birthday, I used to have big parties and celebrate big. About 5 years ago the birthday celebrations really slowed down and now, there is not really a celebration. Some cake and food and maybe a card, but nothing special. If you follow me on FB you would have seen my frustrations with my hubby this past weekend. You see my hubby works graveyards and has to work on my birthday. He was sucking at doing any minor celebration for me. For his birthday I threw him a large surprise party and took him to Vegas, so I was somewhat expecting something cool. Jason ended up getting a sitter (on his own!) and taking me to see a movie and dinner. It was nice to have “adult time,” but it was not super cool. Oh well, maybe a big celebration for my 30th will be something I can look forward to.
So the second thing on my mind is the fact that I start my new job tomorrow. I have done a few job related things, but tomorrow is the day I actually formally meet the entire staff and see the curiculum and I am nervous. It’s like 1st day of school nerves and excitement. I have SO much to do, and I have no real classroom that is my very own, so that makes it difficult as well. I have a lot of stuff and no where to actually place my stuff. I purchased a little cart to tow my “classroom” around during the day, but it is going to be a huge change. One that was necessary for my sanity, but still huge huge change. ACHS was a great building with an incredible teaching/support staff and leaving all of that behind was a big decision, but a good one.
Another thing I have on my mind…BABIES. Oh geeze do I want more kids. Here is the problems with that:
1. Money: You cannot guarantee another boy, so therefore I would be purchasing a ton of stuff *if* we had a girl and that is on top of the baby necessities. Plus Jason and I need to do some cutting back on other things if we really are serious about this baby business.
2. Selfishness: I actually kinda liked being pregnant, I liked the comfy clothes, I liked the treatment, I LOVED the feeling of the baby moving and the pre-birth bonding. But I also think it is very selfish for me to want to have a baby just to be pregnant. So until I can get to the point that I want not just the pregnancy, but the baby as well, I am not trying. I will say that I think I am getting closer to the point where I want the baby, so maybe a few more months…
3. Basement: Jason and I have to finish our basement before we have another child. We have a 3 bedroom house. Jason and I are in the master, Eyan is in his room and then there is the final room, which we use an an office and that gets used daily. We would need to build an office downstairs before we have more kids. I don’t do unfinished anything, so putting my office in an unfinished basement with only 1 plug in for the ENTIRE basement, just doesn’t work.
4. Preeclampsia: Since I had this with Eyan and it was VERY bad, I have over an 85% chance of having it again. My doctor has been very clear with the fact that I would most likely end up having the baby early and that he probably wouldn’t let me go past 37 weeks. With that, baby #2 would also probably end up in the NICU…the first time was not super fun, so I cannot imagine it being fun the 2nd time around either.
5. Work: Although I have heard GREAT things about my new district being very supportive of parents, even having an in house daycare that a LARGE percentage of the staff uses and an awesome teacher retainment rate, I am still very weary. I have to re-do my probationary period with this district…so we may just wait for another couple years before we even consider more children. Who knows, maybe by that time we will decide not to even consider it. Eyan gets easier and easier to care for everyday and new babies are a ton of work. Welcomed work though!
That is enough complaining today…Happy Birthday to me!