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Rant On

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I am not sure what is going through my mind lately.  I am struggling with a lot of stuff that really amounts to nothing as a whole. 

I have been seriously trying to weigh the pros and cons of social media…aka my serious addiction.  I find myself nursing Emberlynn and checking FB, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter soooo frequently.  Usually I do this so as not to overstimulate her while I am trying to put her to sleep, but then I wonder “does this seem like I am not making her my number 1 priority?”  When she is awake and alert I am fully attentive, playing, taking millions of photos, and just being present.  Same goes for Eyan.  I am sure it seems as though I am on FB ALL.THE.TIME. according to that stupid online green dot in the chat window, but truthfully I am not actually on it.  Most of the time I leave the app open on my phone (like completely open, not background open) because well, I just do not close out apps really well, so whichever one I was on last is usually what is open when I unlock my screen after I have left my phone for 2 hours.  But I digress 🙂 

I have all these social media platforms that I would say I am very active on.  I love love love looking at photos of my friends kids and lives and vacations.  I enjoy the articles that people post and catching up with my favorite bloggers.  It is my “me” time…but could I spend that time differently?  Do I really need to be that active?  Let’s be honest here, the people that actually care about the inner workings of my life and are interested are you my awesome readers and followers!  However, without those platforms, many people miss the updates and miss the craziness that is our life…so I am stuck.  I love writing, I love having this virtual scrapbook of my life and my kids to reflect back on.  I have always said that I write for me, but with SO many people telling me that they always read my blog when I post it on FB I feel obligated to continue to keep up my FB. 

In all honesty I have been on FB for over 10 years now…10 freaking years!  I was on FB when you had to be a college student at one of those “select few” schools.  It has been great to catch up with people, keep up with people and check in with people when life is insane.  My friends on FB are my friends in real life.  For a while there that was not the actual case…almost 700 “friends” proved that.  

Sometimes I feel like I am exploiting my kids.  I just am a bragger in all truth.  I love to show off my kids, their accomplishments, my failures as a parent, our struggles and in doing that I feel like I sometimes exploit them.  I hate that about social media and I have become a security freak due to this.  Eyan and Emberlynn are always close to me because I am very fearful that some super creep that follows me and knows my kids is going to steal them…BTW if this happens I would never ever forgive myself and I would probably go off the deep end and end it all.  

So where am I going with all of this…who actually knows.  I think I have found that occasionally I need to take a day or two away from my blog and all social media.  So I guess if the blog is boring for a few days or a week…assume I need a time out and will be back.  I can’t live without it, but I need to learn not to center around it.

Happy Tuesday Peeps!  Rant Over :0)


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